Sunday, August 22, 2010

2010 - Damn, what a year!

2010 - Damn, what a year!

It began with lots of hope, energy, enthusiasm....plans for a big August birthday party. Professional life good - lots of creativity and freedom. Civic activities totally over the top with time commitment, but meeting fabulous people and exercising skills in the public realm....like forums at the statehouse, media - print, radio and television.

A slowly evolving (10 year) decision became obvious and I initiated action.

I became caught in a cyclone of activity, emotion and an indescribable confluence of events.

My dearest, brave father passed the day before the House feigned deliberation on legalizing slot barns/casinos. I loved him so much and do so today. We had a special connection that few in the world ever experience. I said the Serenity Prayer with him at MGH the night before he left. He was sad, I had never seen him frown before and I knew he was lonely and would miss us. He died at 7:17am on Tuesday, April 13, 2010. His birthday was 7/17/1925.

I am lonely and miss him......just in the other room....in the blue sky where I see his gorgeous eyes.

My body had already been shutting down with emotional flooding and stress and I didn't even realize I had lost a lot of weight.

Grief and stress have a way with the human body of taking control and making choices to change or suffer really obvious. The years of excessive busyness came to a crashing end....hopefully I have learned a lesson - time will tell.

My path is changing....it feels revolutionary but it is actually evolutionary and has been in process for a long time. Seeking more clarity for the next steps.

Despite being depleted, hospitalized and having some fantasies ripped away, I am still seeking to do the, "next right thing" and enjoyed the brilliant summer sunshine.

2010 - Damn, what a year!